In The End
by Soccer-Geek
Summary: Songfic based off of Linkin Park's 'In The End'. Heathcliff's thoughts as he is dying.


In The End: A "Wuthering Heights" SongFic

Synopsis: Heathcliff's thoughts as he's dying. Lyrics in italics.

'In the End' belongs to Linkin Park, 'Wuthering Heights' and Heathcliff belong to Emily Bronte.

_It starts with..._

How did this all start? Oh yes. I fell in love. Stupid me for forgetting.

_One thing, and I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to explain in due time. All I know is time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day. It's so unreal. Didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window. Wasted it all just to watch you go (watch you go)_

It was all my fault. I should never have left Cathy at the Lintons that night. I should have stayed by her side no matter what. Instead I ran away. I wasted so much time, sulking and brooding, that I didn't even stop her from leaving Wuthering Heights. From leaving me. Instead, every day I just watched her go farther and farther away from me.

_I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter._

I bottled everything I felt for her inside. We were children; who was I to say I was in love with her at ten years old? But I loved her then as I do now. I wanted to tell her, but then she came home one night engaged to Linton, saying she would never degrade herself to my level. I wasn't sure which part of that speech spoken in confidence to Ellen hurt more. So I ran away. She married Linton, not me. She's been dead in her grave for over eighteen years now. Does it even matter that I still love her?

_I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter._

Running away from Cathy was the worst thing I have ever done, for both her and myself. We were both heartbroken and would marry without love. But, as I lay here dying, I realize it was all for naught. While I made a man of myself, it did nothing to fix my broken heart. God knows how I missed seeing her, holding her in my arms…

_One thing, and I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try. I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard in spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your property, remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised it got so far._

I should never have fought with her about Isabella. I should have scorned Isabella's affections as soon as they were revealed. Oh, Cathy forgive me! You are the only one I love! It is my fault you are dead. My marrying Isabella out of spite made your health decline, worsened by your pregnancy. I had to stand by helplessly as you died, watching your husband mourn you. I wanted to be in his place, to be the one kneeling beside your casket weeping openly, holding your still hand, kiss your unmoving lips. I wanted to be the loving, devoted husband now widower, wondering how I was going to live without you. Every time I walk by your grave, I want to break down crying and tear at the earth to free you.

But I know I cannot.

_Things aren't the way they were before. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me in the end._

I've grown hateful and spiteful, greedy and cruel. I spend my days in a foul mood, drinking my cares away. Heavens, I've become Hindley! Cathy, you wouldn't be able to recognize me if you saw me. I hope you will be able to identify in Heaven or hell or wherever I go. I don't particularly care where I end up once I have taken my final breath, just so that we will be together.

_You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter_

I just wish you had told me how you felt about me. Then I could have told you how I felt about you. But, alas, soon I shall be but a memory. Will our tragic story be remembered by future generations? Will they tell of Heathcliff and Catherine as they do Romeo and Juliet? Does it even matter?

_I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn't even matter. _

Cathy, I love you so dearly.

_I put my trust in you, pushed as far as I could go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know… I put my trust in you, pushed as far as I could go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know…_

Cathy, I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. Is this it? Is this the end? Cathy, I love you. I wish I had said that twenty years ago.

_I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all…_

It's getting hard to see clearly. I can't breathe. This is the end.

_But in the end, it doesn't even matter._

But I don't care that I am dying, Cathy. So long as I get to hold you in my arms.


End file.
